In the last year, feeling like an outsider in the movement for educational equity in which I previously tried to participate, I’ve become intrigued by the otherism that seems to be plaguing our conversations. We constantly sit in judgment of each other, looking to critique rather than to build on shared beliefs or priorities. A natural optimist, I began to feel discouraged. Hopeless.

Maybe we’re too far apart? Maybe we’ve lost the ability to speak to each other? When differences emerged, why were we always seeking to punish rather than seeking progress? Looking for answers, I turned to people smarter than I.

Based on the recommendation of a friend, I started with adrienne maree brown’s recent book, We Will Not Cancel Us. In it, brown says that we “have to find the rigor to fight fair, struggle in principled ways, and practice accountability beyond punishment.” I found myself loving a sort-of mantra that she shares:

I will not be perfect, I will keep learning. I will also not be silent, I will keep learning.

brown’s work, at its core is about rethinking the way we engage and interact with each other. Her belief in transformative justice (not restorative justice) is beautiful. And, it also felt like such a long play. I kept reading. I picked up The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We can Prosper Together.

In it, Heather McGhee gives clear examples of the way white racism in America has hurt people of color, often as intended. However, she also provides indisputable examples that demonstrate the damage these actions did to white communities. Also, addressing the emerging cynic in me, she gives clear examples of successful multi-racial coalitions, supporting her belief that our greatest strength is in pulling together.

For me, a tension remained. How do we get from the trauma and abuses of the past to a place of transformative justice without depending on an exceptional and unreasonable amount of grace from those that have been historically oppressed and traumatized? To help me, I turned to Valerie Kaur, author of See No Strangers.

Famous for a speech given in DC during which she reframed “the darkness of the tomb” as “the darkness of the womb,” providing hope that we are still giving birth to America, Kaur offers (from the Sikh tradition) the concept of seeing no strangers, something she calls “an act of will.” Like brown, Kaur encourages us to feel anger and to name injustice. And, important, she names rage and grief as important steps in the healing process. But, instead of simply punishing those that cause pain and trauma, perhaps we need to find ways that we can move through these difficult moments. Together. Because that person, too, is a part of us.

My thinking about this is far from over. In fact, I’m not even yet finished Kaur’s book. But, I’m thankful for the learning all three have seeded in me. They’ve breathed new life into the optimist in me.

Do you have any books that help you to imagine a more hopeful future during a particularly challenging time?

The links above are affiliate links, meaning that I would earn a small commission (at no cost to you) if you decide to purchase any of the books. I’ve also created an online bookshop (at bookshop.org) so I can share what I’m reading while giving others the opportunity to support independent bookstores near them!